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Porsche
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The
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Oh, what to write about? Here I sit trying to come up with my 25th article. I’m cold, tired, busy and trying to get used to having a girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong it’s nice but after 10 years without one you can get a little out of practice. Starting 2004 I assume my new position of helping the new V.P. of Administration, Susana Weber, plan the monthly meetings. At the last board meeting I was curious what I should call my new position. Let’s see, they suggested Assistant V.P. of Administration or Administrative Meeting Coordinator. Oh, there was also the suggestion of Cabana Boy but I refer to myself plain and simply as, SUCKER! So now officially on email correspondence I will refer to myself in my signature as Steve Boris, Assistant Meeting Cabana Boy. I don’t imagine Porsche National will adopt this position anytime soon. Clever segue to article! I have been annoyed with highway drivers for a while now and feel it is time to vent about it. Let’s for demonstration purposes picture a 3 lane highway. According to the Department of Transportation the lanes are divided into 3 different speed areas. The right hand lane is for the slower drivers. Typically this lane is for nuns, elderly folks in Dodge Darts, inspection sticker rejects, overloaded pickups, and people coming back from Home Depot. They are the ones with the car so loaded down that stuff is sticking out of every window except the drivers because he has to be able to hold those 12 sheets of plywood to the roof that is only held on with twine. Next is the middle lane, which is for everyone that is traveling at normal speeds. These drivers are usually laughing at the Home Depot drivers, as they have to pull over to readjust the plywood. We as Porsche owners are all familiar with the left lane. This is OUR lane! The only time we are not in this lane is when we have to pass a misguided BMW or Ferrari on the right because he thinks he’s in a Porsche. But! Have you notice that in the past few years the lane speeds have changed. Now the slow pokes have decided that the middle lane is safer and theirs. They don’t have to pay attention other cars entering the highway and they are not in the way of the faster cars. This has really screwed up the highway flow. To add to this problem, the left-hand lane has been taken over by moms in minivans. Who, by the way get my vote as the worse drivers in the world. When they get into the left lane it is their mission to stay in front of you. If there is no one behind them they will drive at middle lane speeds but if you come up behind them they will take that aerodynamic turd close to 100 mph before yielding. Then as soon as you get by they pull in behind you and slow back down to 70. Of course this behavior isn’t only seen in minivans they just sticks out in my mind as the most habitual offender. Then you have the drivers that take this a step further. Once you get by them, somewhere around 90-95 they will pull in behind you so you can get them to where they are going much quicker. Unfortunately this pushes my Mr. Hyde buttons. I say buttons plural because I have 2. If I am in the pickup truck I will move to the middle lane and let them go on their way. If I am in the 911, forget it, that’s the last they see of me. Not model behavior I know but if they were going a bit faster I wouldn’t have passed them in the first place. Typically I have two cruising speeds. One is truck and the other is Porsche. The truck is comfortable at 75-78. The Porsche idles at 80. I swear the 911 isn’t comfortable below 3000 rpm in fifth gear. If you want to drive the speed limit you have to stay in 4th gear. So I travel between 80-90 almost all the time except at night when 72-75 is nice. This means that some one doing 75 in the left lane is going to get passed. One other thing, have you ever noticed that the guy that was just doing 70 in the left hand lane pulls into the middle lane and goes 80. I think they figure the radar can’t see the middle lane. This brings me to the new passing lane, the right lane! You know the old folks and nuns are doing 65 in the middle lane and the minivans are doing 72-75 in the left lane. What’s left, the right hand lane of course. The only problem… remember the Home Depot guy, well he is still in the right lane hanging on to his plywood. Dead end! Driving the highways now a days for the most part is very stressful. Very seldom can you just get in the left lane a cruise. And unfortunately we have those big winged buzzy things that closely resemble fiberglass trumpets. I am amazed that some of those loose fitting fiberglass panels don’t just fly off at speeds. Anyway they can be quite a nuisance when you are just minding your own business in the left lane. They seem to think you came looking for them to try your luck. The funniest bumper sticker I have seen was on the back bumper of a lime green Honda Accord (at least I think it was a Honda) with vibrating body panels that said, “With great horsepower comes great responsibility”. If that car ever hit 100 mph it would have looked like Marilyn Monroe standing over the sidewalk, venting grate. Don’t get me wrong many drivers don’t annoy
me but like Steve Irwin and his ability to find animals in the wild I just
seem to fine the one that do and I find more while driving the 911. Not
many drivers mess with a 7-foot tall big black truck.
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