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My last article made me think about something I hadn't really thought much about. Why do people choose to accessorize their cars with small adhesive pieces of paper with profound messages or statements printed on them? Bumper Stickers! We are all constantly being bombarded with personal messages that either amuses, confuses or annoys us. Unfortunately I can never remember the good ones. It's about the same as my joke retaining ability. What drives people to put these messages on their cars and some to the extent that the car is barely visible? Don't individuals that push their causes on us annoy us all? It may sound selfish or unsympathetic but seeing their bumper sticker is not going to make me support their cause. It takes a little more than that. But should be more sympathetic to causes based on the car it is stuck on. You know, if it is on a Yugo it's not worth thinking about but a Rolls, who knows, maybe it is worth looking into. My point is that people with bumper stickers like Free Tibet, Pro-Life, Pro-Choice and others do nothing to change other people's mind. If it takes a bumper sticker to convince someone of your cause than they are probably not the driving force you are looking for. In fact, bumper stickers may only get the attention of those that oppose what you are saying. Maybe if they were stuck in traffic for a week, in front of a Senator or someone that has the ability to do something, would it have more impact? Sadly, the average driver could care less about you or your cause. He just wants to get by you and get where he is going. Hey what about those people that feel so strongly about those weird presidential candidates like Pat Paulson to plaster it on their car like they know something the rest of us don't. What ever happened to Pat Paulson? I still have a dozen or so campaign buttons left. Next, I would like to single out one particular sticker that is really annoying. The PEEING BOY! Who came up with this? Hey, man do I hate Chevy’s if only I had a picture of a boy peeing on a Chevy logo it would be soooooo cool! At least I haven't seen one peeing on a Porsche logo. Apparently this poor kid with bladder trouble is only around Chevy, Dodge and Ford. I think they need one of the little boy peeing on another little boy. Nowadays that would have to be a big seller. I think humorous messages are far more appropriate for bumper stickers especially when you are stuck in traffic. I find most drivers are unhappy to say the least when sitting in traffic, and a funny bumper sticker has occasionally caused me to crack a smile during an otherwise miserable moment. In heavy traffic I sometimes find myself looking for the car with the most bumper stickers. It's kind of like taking a magazine to the bathroom. Then there are the people that put stuff on their car in an attempt to make others think they are cool. Maybe I would have to fall into this category. I have racetrack bumper stickers on my truck and Club Racing logos on all my vehicles. I suppose I do it so people will say, "Hey that guy races Porsches, how cool is that?" Having a Porsche is cool but racing a Porsche is beyond cool and I suppose I want people to know that. Of course they don't know I am broke, just cool. I also put ski hill bumper stickers in this category. People want us to know they ski and they will do it whenever or wherever they can. But the loaded ski rack in September is a bit much. Kind of wishful thinking, huh? When I lived in Houston I worked on a fun campaign a friend was with. This friend owned a T-shirt company in Houston and she had a client that needed art help on a project he called, "Houston Poor". The whole campaign was to poke fun at all the yuppie rich people. It meant that you were down to just a couple of million. So for probably four years I had a black bumper sticker on the back of my '83 944 that said, HOUSTON POOR. It didn't work on the back of a Chevette and it barely worked on a base 944 but it got more than a few laughs. It was meant for the back of 911 Turbos, limos, 500 SELs, Ferraris and those types of cars. My little 944 just got by. While we were working on this campaign she was dating Roy Cullin. The family owned Cullen Auditorium and Cullen Bank. This was after she grew up with and dated Billy Gibbons and brought Stevie Ray Vaughn from San Antonio to Houston for his first real show. Some group of friends huh? Another piece of auto message art that stands out in my mind is the old Baby on Board sign. This started coming out while I was still in Houston and it was everywhere. I can remember thinking OK I must drive better around this person because they have a baby. Meanwhile the driver is diving in and out of traffic. It is a lot like those people that put the sign "Show Dogs" on the back window of their van. Does that mean around regular dogs I can drive like an idiot but around show dogs I must behave myself. These signs make me want to run them off the road just because they have their precious little gem with them. At one time I would have bet that a Baby on Board sign came with every new Volvo. I remember thinking the guy responsible for it needed a good beating. Well, I moved back to the Boston area in August of 1988 and started working for Robert Selame Associates 2 weeks later. I soon found out he was the one responsible for the Baby on Board sign. Apparently the sign was originally used in Germany. Two women from Los Angeles traveled to Germany and bought the rights to the saying for about $10,000, and then brought it back to the states. They just couldn't seem to make a go of it so a guy named Michael Lerner bought the rights for $50,000. My boss then packaged it and they named the company Safety 1st. The original sign looked exactly the same as the final sign except the German hazard sign has a white center. So Bob made it solid yellow and put it in a solid blue package and the rest is history. That little sign made Mike Lerner enough money to grow Safety 1st into a huge company worth several millions. I did their packaging from 1988 until 1994 when Mike Lerner gave me enough money to start my own company. I continued to do their work for another 2 years until the work got to be too much for one guy to handle and they also started to put together their own internal art department. I tell you that thing achieved cult status. I am sure you all remember the off-shoots too, Grandmother in Trunk, baby in Trunk, Baby nailed on Board, Board on Board and a gazillion others that infuriated Mike but deep down I think he liked the publicity. I still see them once in a while but I see the Safety 1st Geoffrey the Giraffe window shade more (I was responsible for that one). A couple last things... Congratulations on your child being student of the month. It must make you very proud. Just remember to remove it at the end of the month when he’s back to being stupid again. Also what the hell made you go to GATORLAND and why did you think we needed to know about it. By the way, is that one armed wrestler still there? See ya! |
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