Copyright © 1999

Porsche Club of America Out For A Spin December, 1999 Bruce Corwin Bruce968@PorscheNet.com

As my last column for the millenium, I'm going to share with you "everything I know, so far" (as they say in the Porsche commercial). After all, if I'm going to be President of the region, I must be pretty knowledgeable. (Boy, have I got them fooled!)

I'm sure you remember last year's smash hit song "Sunscreen" where some guy gives you advice on life, with some music playing in the background. It is one of those songs that is interesting the first 1 or 2 times you hear it, then quickly becomes really annoying. It was played to death on the radio for about a month, until people just couldn't stand it anymore. Here is the Porsche version, and I promise we won't print it again next month!

Wear seatbelts. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, seatbelts would be it. Scientists have proved the life-saving benefits of seatbelts, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your Porsche, oh never mind, you will never understand the power and the beauty of your Porsche until you sell it. But trust me, in twenty years, you will look back at photos of your Porsche and recall in a way you can't grasp now, how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous the car really looked.

You are not as good a driver as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. Like a drunk driver that blindsides your Porsche at 4 PM on some idle Tuesday.

Try one track every year that scares you.

Drive.

Don't be reckless with other peoples' cars; don't put up with people who are reckless with your car.

Autocross.

Don't waste your time reading other people's scores. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember to look far ahead, don't look at fallen cones in your mirrors. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old autocross timing slips; throw away your old repair slips.

Shift.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know which Porsche model to buy. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 which one to own, some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Change your oil.

Be kind to tires, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll race your Porsche, maybe you won't.

Maybe you'll rally your Porsche, maybe you won't.

Maybe you'll still be trying to learn heal-and-toe at 40, maybe you'll get FTD on your 75th birthday.  Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your accomplishments are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your Porsche. Use it every way you can, don't be afraid of it, or what other people think. It's the greatest car you'll ever own.

Concours. Even if your car has no chance of winning.

Get advice from an experienced instructor even if you don't follow it.

Do not go to Pebble Beach, it will only make your car look ugly.

Get to know your fellow club members. They are your best link to the club and the people you're most likely to have fun with in the future.

Understand that cars come and go. But there are a precious few you should hold on to.

Buy a 930 once, but sell it before it makes you hard.

Buy a 928 once, but sell it before it makes you soft.

Cruise.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Porsche prices will rise, racers will cheat, you will get old and when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, racers were noble and drivers were courteous to other drivers.

Be courteous to other drivers.

Don't expect your car to be infallible.

Maybe you have really good brakes, maybe you have really good tires, but you'll never know when one of them might fail.

Throughout life, enjoy many great Porsches, one great wife.

Don't customize your car too much or by the time the car is five years old, it will look twenty-five years old.

Be careful whose driving advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.

My advice is a form of nostalgia. Like taking a beat-up 924, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the seatbelts.