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Porsche Club of America
The Northeast Region

By Bruce Corwin, Bruce968@PorscheNet.com
NOR'EASTER Online - June 2000

It’s interesting how different automotive words have evolved on both sides of “the pond”. Certainly there are pronunciation differences. An American pronounces “coupe” as “coop” where an Englishman would pronounce it “coopay”. But let’s take a look at some completely different words used to describe the same thing.

If you went to England and took a walk around a car, here is what you would see. Let’s start in the front with the bonnet (hood). Next you’d walk past the wing (fender), with the offside wing being on the driver’s side (which is on the wrong side) and the nearside wing being on the passenger’s side (also on the wrong side). As we walk toward the back of the car (they don’t use the word “auto”), you’d see the aerial (antenna) and tyres (tires) fitted with wheel trims (hubcaps). Continue past the filler for petrol (gas) and arrive at the boot (trunk). A peek underneath the saloon (sedan) with your torch (flashlight) would reveal the silencer (muffler) and perhaps a hitch for a caravan (trailer).

Let’s hop in the car now and go for a ride. Mind the rev counter (tachometer) as you engage the gear lever (stick shift) and exit the car park (parking lot), then drive right over the sleeping policeman (speed bump) without being arrested! You are likely to encounter a roundabout (rotary) as you drive on the road surface (pavement). But don’t drive on the “pavement”, because that’s the sidewalk and you might run over a real policeman! Also watch for zebra crossings and pelican crossings (pedestrian crossings). Phew, I’m getting confused already!

Be sure to give way (yield) as you motor up the slip road (on ramp) and pull onto the motorway (interstate) while using your indicator (turn signal). Soon you’ll be overtaking (passing) all sorts of vans (trucks), lorries (more trucks) and maybe even a tipper truck (dump truck). Be sure to stay off the central reservation (median strip) and the verge (road shoulder). Now you’re moving along briskly on the flyover (overhead expressway). You might even encounter a spaghetti junction (cloverleaf) in which case you’d be near Birmingham, since there’s only one!

Hopefully you won’t encounter a tailback (traffic jam) as you approach the level crossing (railroad crossing) and watch for that estate (station wagon) pulling out of the hard shoulder (stopping lane). If he stops to let you go, you can yell something like, “Jolly good, old chap!” Otherwise you could say, “Give way, you bloody bloke!” And I guess you should look smart by dressing in a tweed jacket and cap. Maybe have an umbrella along too. If it doesn’t rain, you can use it like a cane or walking stick and look downright smashing.

Well, that’s what it’s like driving in England. Just don’t be surprised if there is no A/C, bumper stickers, cup holders, automatic door locks, cruise control, daytime running lights or seatbelts that go ding-ding-ding. That just wouldn’t be shagadellic, now would it baby!

Onto another subject, across the channel this month we have the 24 Hours of Le Mans. Here’s my prediction: Porsche will win the “Grand Touring GT” class. I say this because the class consists only of Porsches. Like some sort of 24 hour Porsche Cup I guess. But the strangest thing to me is that the two prototype classes contain no Porsches or Ferraris at all. In fact there’s not a single Ferrari in the entire field, unless they let in an aging 333SP due to an open slot from a withdrawing entry. The prototype class instead consists mostly of cars with GM, Chrysler, Ford and VW engines. So let’s see here, Cadillac is racing at Le Mans while Porsche is busy building an SUV. Just what the hell is going on here? I better pull out my Bible. I seem to remember reading about this as a sign of the end times in the book of Revelations. If Ferrari comes out with a 666SP, then we’ll know for sure. Anyway, don’t miss the race on June 17/18.

Meanwhile, in the Porsche fatherland. Speaking of which, if they call it Deutschland, why do we call it Germany? Who knows. Anyway, here is an instruction sheet that came with my racecar, which I had shipped over from Germany last year. It seems to have been written by someone who didn’t speak much English.

Achtenshun! Das renn machine ist nodt for gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist ezy brekken das springenwerks, blowenclutchen und fusen mit loudisch poppen und spitzensparken. Ist not gerwerken by Dumkoffs. Das rubberneken, sighdtseeren und stupidisch goofoffers bast relaxen, kep hands in der pockets und vatch das uberdriver maken car go!

Porsche Club of America The Northeast Region

Porsche Club of America
The Northeast Region