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Porsche Club of America
The Northeast Region

By Bruce Hauben, Bruce993@PorscheNet.com
NOR'EASTER Online - July 2001

They say things run in threes; the third wave in a running sea is the largest and bad things happen in groups of three. Well, Joyce and I are living proof that sometimes things happen in fours and fives ... where our 911 RS America is concerned. But let's not get ahead of the story.

During my teen years in the late '50s, back in NJ, like all my friends, I began driving on the very day I turned sixteen. But the extent of my automobile knowledge was, until recently, rather meager. My friends were not 'gear heads' (that eras equivalent of computer geeks) and I simply didn't get involved with engines, suspensions and body mud. Sure, I'd occasionally change the filter and oil, or points, distributor and plugs (no fuel injection and computers then), and knew if a valve needed adjusting. But the valve adjusting was left to the corner garage.

Our saga begins with a NHIS Drivers' Ed event in early May. I began hearing a noise coinciding with the wheel rotation that quickly became so obvious that I didn't want to continue driving. Could it be a bearing? A quick call to my local corner garage confirmed that it shouldn't be driven. Could they look at it that afternoon? - remember that this is early in the season and our driving juices had been bottled up all winter - sure, bring it down and we'll take a look. Thankfully Arnie Zann was visiting the track that day and agreed to take on my student.

Jerry and Will at EPE, the gems that they are, confirmed that a front bearing was shot (I'm told that fronts normally last many times longer than rears) and put in a new one to enable Joyce and me to return to NHIS the following morning. Hey, we saved a night's motel charge; a very little sop to what we've spent on the car.

So the next day at the track is going nicely and I begin hearing the same noise I heard the day before, M#/}F+!*S*%!!! Back on the trailer, find another instructor for that day's student, bid adieux to our friends and head back home early, and ultimately on to our local corner garage. This time it was a rear wheel bearing and so...you guessed right...I had the remaining two bearings replaced also. Now we're batting 1,000 - two for two.

My next event was VIR in nine days (those of you who read my column last month know it's a fantastic driving track), without Joyce who was unable to get away from work those days. After a nice trip down with some of the sixteen NER drivers who went, I was driving on day two with Arnie - his 911 had crapped out the day before with an oil leak - riding shot gun when all of a sudden we both heard the dreaded egg beater noise from the engine. I was close enough to the pit with enough speed to coast into the paddock. When I started the engine a little later to load it onto the trailer (immediately turning it off) the single eggbeater sounded like it had spawned ten more. With plenty of generous and friendly bodies around a quick push got me onto the trailer. Bill Chadwick had left several hours prior with engine problems, and Arnie and Margo were leaving a little later due to their problems. I know I'm not the only one with problems...but read on.

Under the tutelage of EPE I took the engine apart, an interesting first time experience, and the problem was immediately evident. A broken retainer resulted in a bent valve in turn buggering up the piston and cylinder head and bending the rod. So I'm still batting 1000, two events, 3 mechanical problems, and of course I missed the Pocono Club Race twelve days later.

Our next event, Joyce was looking forward to this one, was to be three weeks later at Mid-Ohio. Having planned to put the Hooziers on our street 993 for Mid-Ohio, Jerry outdid himself and had the engine and RS America ready the afternoon we were leaving. After another uneventful trek out with NER friends, half way through our first morning at the track the brakes began feeling mushy, far sooner than normal considering when they were last flushed and bled. A lunch time bleed should have been the answer, but wasn't. They still were mushy, and between students and a miserably hot humid day both Joyce and I skipped our last run of the day, to bleed the brakes again in the cool morning before driving the next day. Which we did, again to no effect, still mushy brakes. By this time we were all at a loss as to what else to do and I was frustrated to hell. As a last resort, one last bleed and let's put in new pads. The pads still had 50% of their life but what the hell, you try anything when you're 675 mi. from home on a weekend when the closest Porsche garage is more than an hour away ... and closed. Changing front pads I discovered a wheel wobbling, as though the spindle or hub had broken, the general consensus.

Back on the trailer, still batting 1,000, now four for four and two of those being 11+ hour drives home. And directly to our friendly corner garage on Monday where it was quickly determined that the nut had wiggled loose - a nut that is supposed to be a self-locking nut - nothing had broken. So of course, all four nuts are replaced and this is the prime motivating reason for this article.

DON'T ASSUME THAT MUSHY BRAKES MUST BE CAUSED BY THE NEED FOR BLEEDING. CHECK EVERYTHING INVOLVED WITH STOPPING THE CAR!!

While looking at the car on the lift we noticed that one of the muffler pipes was significantly lower than the other, and that it had not been that way on the trailer. Closer inspection found a cracked cross piece - saddle - at the rear of the engine support letting that side of the engine visibly sag. Sure glad that didn't crack while driving the off camber blind left leading into Thunder Valley at Mid-Ohio.

I probably shouldn't ask if there's anything else that might break while we're six to twelve hours from home with Watkins Glen, Mt. Tremblant and Mosport coming up within a month. I guess even if I had been a 'gear head' and able to diagnose these things at the track, the odds of carrying spares of these various parts plus the tools necessary must be slim to none. We'll keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.

Hints for keeping a healthy level of insanity in your life!

At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with mirror sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
In the memo area of all your checks, write "For Sexual Favors".
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!"

Porsche Club of America The Northeast Region

Porsche Club of America
The Northeast Region