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Porsche Club of America
The Northeast Region

Upshifting

By Bruce Hauben, Bruce993@PorscheNet.com
NOR'EASTER Online - June 2006
Northeast Region Logo
My apologies to those new instructors who may have been certified during the time I’ve forgotten this very important acknowledgment. Please let me know and I’ll be happy to retroactively include you. For now, our latest newly certified instructors, who deserve a big round of applause for passing our rather conservative (stringent) requirements  are Laurie (Laurence) Jitts, Pete Donohoe, and Chris Castagna. Laurie and Pete are in there second years as Track Committee members and Chris has to be one of the youngest instructors on record…if we kept records of those things. They’re all fantastic drivers and great teachers, congratulations to you all.
  
The second Monday in May dawned cloudless and seasonally warm, the beginning of a wonderful day driving at NHIS. This was our first DE event of the year and saw the largest turnout we’ve had at NHIS in many years, due solely to the largest Novice Group turnout we’ve ever had at any DE event, anywhere.  Steve Artick, our intrepid Co-Chief Instructor and his crew had done an outstanding job in presenting the annual Ground School at HMS in February, resulting in this largest ever turnout of DE Novices.
   
More than forty novices with three or fewer track days made for a Green Run Group so large that we divided it into two run groups. The original intent was to carry on NER’s “Ladies Day” tradition – actually tradition is probably a misnomer as it’s been at least 5 years since the last “Ladies Day”. Conceptually we’re trying to get women to give DE driving a chance in a relaxed, non-competitive atmosphere. However, this discrimination against the male persuasion would drastically limit the enrollment and in these days of gender equality just ain’t right. So the event was transformed to a “Novice Day” to include men and women with three or fewer track days for the morning braking and skid pad exercises. NER is definitely all inclusive and gender blind. We want everyone to participate.

It was recently reported that when a small western PA college announced plans to eliminate three women’s inter-collegiate sports in a cost cutting procedure, a group of female students brought suit under the federal Chapter IX clause for equality in collegiate sports’ programs. What these plaintiffs seem to have overlooked was at the same time the college was eliminating five men’s sports’ programs. Some people need to see beyond their noses.

So, these forty plus novices spent the morning under the wing of Co-Chief Instructor Matthew Wallis with the invaluable help of some White Mountain and Boston BMW (who are also NER instructors) instructors, George Bixby, Jeff Smethers and Susin Koehler; thank you for your assistance. And we owe thanks to Street Survival™ for the loan of their sprinkler system for the skid pad. Street Survival™ is a non-profit, hands on driving program held around the country aimed at making teens (age requirement is 16-21) better and safer drivers. The NER Board will be considering future participation with the White Mtn. BMW CCA in a Street Survival™ school. More info is available at www.streetsurvival.org. 
   
Read elsewhere in this issue about the day from a novice’s perspective. Ramon Blanco puts the day in excellent perspective. I do need to comment here about the NHIS garage situation. In past years we’ve had the 2nd garage available for the overflow from the 1st and its worked fine. No reason to change right? Well, NHIS makes changes without letting us know. That 2nd garage was locked – as many of you know – and the track manager finally showed up with keys at 8:00 AM, we contractually have use of the paddock and certain buildings beginning at 7:00 AM, so that threw everything out of whack. It’s a case of “it’s my ball and home court so play be my rules or don’t bother showing up”. Well, I learned at 8:00 AM that the new charge for that 2nd garage was so much that we’d have lost our shirt if we unlocked those doors. If you should have received a refund – after paying for a garage and not getting one - and have not, please let me know the details. I regret Ramon’s difficulties and appreciate his patience and others inconvenienced; we’ll try to do better next time.
   
The more experienced drivers had more than 90 minutes of track time on a deliciously warm and sunny day, an incident free day. Steve McQueen once said – “When you’re racing its life, anything else that happens before or after is just waiting.” Substitute “DE track driving” for “racing” and you’ve got it.
   
See you at the track.

BEER

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink.  When they wake up in the morning, 
that's as good as they're going to feel all day." Lyndon B. Johnson

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." Paul Hornung

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.  Coincidence? I think not." H. L. Mencken

"When we drink, we get drunk.  When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we 
fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, 
let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" George Bernard Shaw

 "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. 
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does 
not go nearly as well with pizza." Dave Barry

”BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!”  W. C. Fields

”Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.” Professor Irwin Corey

”To some it's a six-pack; to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!” Leo Durocher

 One night at Cheers, Cliff Calvin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his 
buddy Norm:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this.  A herd of buffalo can only move as fast 
as the slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and 
weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is 
good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the 
whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members!

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the 
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain 
cells.  But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. 
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain 
cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! 
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." 
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