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Porsche Club of America
The Northeast Region

Upshifting

By Bruce Hauben, Bruce993@PorscheNet.com
NOR'EASTER Online - July 2006
Northeast Region Logo
Check out the additional DE we’ve just added at Watkins Glen - further along in this issue - September 25, 26. We’re co-sponsoring this with NNJR, and all registration will be handled by them. It’s a great way to wind down your track season if you’re not a long distance hauler to one of the more southern tracks.
   
By the time this issue hits most mail boxes many of us will be enjoying the free Blues Festival at Mont Tremblant…that is, when we’re not in seventh heaven enjoying the 15 turn, 4.26 km. Le Circuit Mont Tremblant, better known as LCMT. There has been a great response to our Ground School this past February with 40 brand new Novices attending our May NHIS DE event. Ten of those are enjoying their first trip to LCMT and the Track Committee certainly hopes that next year more new drivers will give it a shot.
  
The Village where we stay, only 5 minutes from the track, is a great family vacation venue with shopping, restaurants and a chair lift ride to the top of the mountain for hiking, mountain biking and sight seeing. Very nearby are golf courses, white water rafting, trails, water parks and many more activities for the non-drivers in the family. Give it a try and put it on your calendar for next year.
   
Next on the agenda is NER’s annual July 26, 27 DE at Watkins Glen, – also known as “New York’s Thunder Road” – a great track with lots of history in the heart of the Finger Lakes Region of upstate New York. On Thursday, we’ll hold our signature DE Enduro for the Black and Red run groups. And a first at this event on Wednesday night; our co-sponsors EPE in Natick and Firefly’s Bar-B-Que Restaurants in Marlboro and Framingham will be providing a fantastic, catered barbecue dinner – imported from MA – FREE for all registered drivers. For significant others, friends and family the meal will be a below cost $15. It is essential that you let us know at bmh993@porschenet.com the number of non-driver diners so there will be sufficient food for all.
   
\Watkins Glen International is steeped in history from its beginnings in 1948 with European style open wheel racing through the village. Great and famous drivers such as Clark, Hill, Stewart, Lauda, Fittipaldi and Hunt have been among the winners of Watkins Glen Grand Prixs. You too can drive the same track as many of these legendary drivers with NER on July 26 & 27. Sign up NOW, you don’t want to be left out. And if you can’t make it this year, be sure to put it on your calendar right now, for next year. You KNOW that if you procrastinate it won’t get done and then you’ll regret it next year when you realize that you forgot to put it on your calendar.
   
Seems as though this track season we’re all paying for the several past years when it was a rare occasion that an event was interrupted by rain. So far this season Joyce and I have done 7 different Club Races and DEs from Atlanta to Ohio and if memory serves me – and believe me that memory is serving me less and less with the advancing years – a single event was entirely moisture free. 
   
Every Club Race has involved rain tires, many times more than once as we shifted back and forth. Now, DEs are an entirely different situation. I can still remember when I was a Newbie at the track and it rained. Many of the experienced drivers cooled their heels in the paddock while I and mostly other Newbies went onto the track. I never really understood the reasoning behind their staying off the tracks, after all, wasn’t that the reason we went that distance and took time off from work…to drive on the track? By way of full disclosure I must point out that at that time we were tracking a C4, makes a BIG difference in the rain. Well, as I and others have become ‘seasoned’ it is now we who cool our heels in the paddock when the track is wet and leave the driving to the present day Newbies. Apparently it is something that one ‘learns or comes to an understanding of’ with time and experience.

Never enough Rodney!
You had to love Rodney...king of the "one liners". RIP Rodney Dangerfield.
 

  • I was so poor growing up. If I wasn't a boy, I'd have had nothing to play with.
  • A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home.
  • During sex, my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
  • Then there was the night I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.
  • It's been a rough day. I got up this morning put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
  • I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox; the cat kept covering me up.
  • I'm so ugly. My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
  • Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide."
  • I'm so ugly. I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get.
  • I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look in the mirror. I feel like throwing up; what's wrong with me?" He said "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."
  • With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.
  • My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair.
  • When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ..and no one showed up.
  • When I was three years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me."
  • With my wife, I don't get no respect. The other night there was a knock on the front door. My wife told me to hide in the closet.
  • I told my landlord I want to live in a more expensive apartment. He raised my rent.
  • With my wife, I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
  • I remember the time that I was kidnapped...They sent a piece of my finger to my father...He said he wanted more proof.
  • I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west!
  • I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
  • I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette!
  • Oh, when I was a kid, everyone thought I got plenty of girls. I used to go to a drive-in movie and do push-ups in the backseat of my car.
  • Oh, when I was a kid, when my parents went shopping, they always took me with them - that way they could park in a handicapped section.
  • What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
  • One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
  • Oh, last week was a rough week. I noticed my gums were shrinking. I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H.
  • Oh, my wife loves vacations. The other night! She told me, "I wanna go someplace I've never been before." I took her to a men's room.
  • With girls, I don't think right. I had a date with one girl; she had mirrors all over her bedroom. She told me to come over and bring a bottle. I got Windex.
  • I'm trying a new diet now. The diet is Viagra and prune juice. I tell ya, I don't know if I'm coming or going.
  • Last night I came home, I walked in the house, I picked up the extension. My wife was having phone sex with some guy. I told the guy, "Don't let her fool you, she's faking it."
  • You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, "The car behind me is paying for two."
  •  I had a good time last week. I did a show; the whole audience was midgets. I got a standing ovation - I didn't even know it!
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