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Porsche Club of America
The Northeast Region

By Tom Tate
NOR'EASTER Online - October 2002

What an adventure old cars can be in todays modern world. Every ride produces great stories and with the perspective of 40 years of driving, as the young people say "it's all good". I'm not talking about a ride around the block or a run to the market. There's no real risk in that ride because you can always just walk home. Of course the neighbors will see your bathtub on the side of the road and you'll have to answer questions at the next block party about German reliability but it's no Cannonball Run.

The draw of the Historic Races at Lime Rock on Labor Day weekend this year caused me to think that 350 miles in a 38 year old 356 Porsche would be a great way to spend the day. It reminds me of that country song where the singer says that Jim Bean convinced him that he could take a guy that was twice his size. But old Jim lied. Well the car didn't lie, it went further in one day that it had traveled in the last 17 years. And it was fun and even had some drama.

The '64 sunroof coupe had a minor oil drip coming from a pushrod tube but I figured that oil was cheap; it was dripping out the bottom of the engine, so how bad could it be? Besides there's a big difference between dripping oil and burning oil. Older cars that burn oil have a certain smell about them that no amount of washing and waxing can ever eliminate. It smells like a coffee pot that has been left on all day and has boiled dry, not good. On the other hand oil that has just dripped out onto the ground really doesn't smell bad if it smells at all. I provide this description because I realize that many Porsche owners have no idea what oil smells like in a distressed state. Today’s modern cars are so sealed that many owners don't even know which end of the car holds the engine let alone what's found inside the engine.To them oil is something that comes from Italy and is used in that TV commercial where the woman cooks 17 meals at once because she likes the brand of olive oil. Many owners are reduced to discussing trailer sizes and tow rigs because of a lack of knowledge of the inner workings of their cars. But I digress.

An early morning run to the meeting point two towns away gave me a good feeling when no big oil loss was found on the dipstick. So off the group of 356'ers went to the Mass Pike for what was to be an easy ride to the track.

Anyone that has traveled the Mass Turnpike recently can tell you that there is no such thing as an easy ride. Even on weekends drivers are in such a hurry to get somewhere that if you're only driving 75 mph you're in the way. Remember we're talking about 40 year old cars that had a top speed of 100 mph when they were brand new. That little four-cylinder engine hung out the back of a 356 is turning 4000 rpm at 80 mph and the dreaded redline starts at 5000. In short it's screaming it's little lungs out just to stay out of the way. The caravan saw their temperature gauges head north at that speed and so gradually the speed was reduced to here the coupe could keep them in sight. It was just as well that I brought up the rear since I had some experience with oil burners.

For those of you that don't remember, I have had a '76 914 for many years. Until my sons 911 free ride came along a couple of years ago, I used that car exclusively for autocrossing. Well about 15 years ago after spending most of it's time in the red, the engine began to burn oil. Not massive amounts, just about a quart every 200 miles. When I said above that oil was cheap, I have believed that for at least 15 years. Rather than rebuild the engine I just kept adding oil. The only draw back was that when going to or returning from Porsche events nobody wanted to follow me because they would have to smell that burned coffee odor the entire drive. Eventually the smell even got to me (actually to my wife who wanted to know what that stink was in the garage) and I had the engine rebuilt.

Half way to the track, about 70 miles out the Pike, a bathroom beckoned to me and I had to let the gang thunder on without me. How do they hold two cups of coffee in that long anyway? It was a good time to check the oil level and I was glad that I didn't have to explain to the group why I was contributing an oil slick to the westbound lanes. The good news was that the engine was only down 1/2 a quart. The bad news was that it was spread evenly all over the back of the car. Including the muffler and tailpipes. Yes, the ones I had just cleaned and covered with high temp gray paint. Of course the hot exhaust pipe made the dripping oil look like your brain on drugs and the air intake on the engine cover looked like the grill on a BBQ after the spare ribs have been done. We all know that the air that blows over the engine to cool it also is used to heat the cars interior. No hot air system is airtight let alone one that's 40 years old. So a small stream of oil-laden air had been pumped into the car coating the inside of the front window since mile 14 on the Turnpike. Funny how much film can collect on a windshield before you realize it's not your glasses. And it really didn't smell that bad, at least not to me. I just wanted to wipe the oil off the trunk so that passing cars didn't think that I was driving junk and old junk at that.

After a quick clean up a turn of the key produced a click instead of a running engine so a push start was required. It's just a hot start problem, no need to call AAA. I'd forgotten how easy it is to start one of these things. And more to the point I'd forgotten how normal it seemed to just get it moving, hop in the car, turn on the ignition, pull the stick into 2nd gear, pop the clutch, and drive away. Like I'd been doing it all my life. I guess I have been doing it all my life; I just haven't done it for a while.

Nine hours later after eight races, two cheeseburgers, large fries, twelve gallons of regular gas and another 1 1/2 quarts of black and slippery the 356 was back in the garage. The longest trip the car had in over 17 years and one of the best. What great fun these car can be even when they stumble.

Keep the Faith!

Porsche Club of America The Northeast Region

Porsche Club of America
The Northeast Region