 The
December question, the first in the 2000 Natpucker Trivia Championship:
“For 50 points, identify the white object in the accompanying photo. (See
January's article at www.porschenet.com/wasser 41.html ). Once again, no
one answered correctly. The best guess was a cigarette or pipe filter.
Best but not close. Hint: Think insulating properties. Won’t you try again!
January's Question
This month’s question: “He was responsible for a major change in the
rules of his sport. His name was Sam McAllester. For 30 points, tell me
the story of Sam’s impact on his sport.” I received correct answers from
Darice Wareham and Davis Pan, each earning 30 points. Here’s the story
as reported by Sports Illustrated.
“It may have predated the forward pass by two years, but for one 50-yard
drive in 1904, Tennessee’s aerial attack was football’s finest. Ninety-five
years ago Sam McAllester, who would go on to earn distinction as a Chattanooga
lawyer, set his first legal precedent - as a human projectile. McAllester
played fullback for the Volunteer State boys (the team’s nickname had not
yet been shortened to Vols), and on that fall day he spent much of his
time being thrown for a gain. Before that Thanksgiving Day showdown at
Alabama, Tennessee coach Sax Crawford fitted McAllester with a leather
belt that had handles on both sides. On the fateful drive McAllester would
take a direct snap, run to the line, anchor a foot on an offensive guard’s
back and wait for Tennessee’s backfield brother act - beefy halfbacks J.
A. and J. H. Caldwell - to hurl him over the defensive line. The lone scoring
march of the game consisted exclusively of such airscapades as Tennessee
drove to the only touchdown of a 5-0 win. (Touchdowns were then worth five
points.)
After the 1905 season the newly formed American Intercollegiate Football
Rules Committee legalized the forward pass, created a neutral zone between
the offense and defense (the line of scrimmage, we call it) and, in a far
less publicized move, made it illegal to hurdle a standing player. Before
long the committee outlawed propelling ballcarriers forward and Slung Sammy,
who earned two varsity letters at Tennessee but little conventional distinction
on the field, settled for the less bumpy life of a Southern lawyer. McAllester
remains the only known player to be a forward pass - the one-time football
hero who went down in history headfirst.
Ramblings
WASHINGTON, DC. On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No
Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection
for more than 135 million talentless Americans. The act, signed into law
by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major
victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack any real
skills or useful abilities “Roughly 50 percent of Americans—through no
fault of their own—do not possess the talent necessary to carve out a meaningful
role for themselves in society,” said Clinton, a longtime ANA supporter.
“Their lives are futile hamster-wheel existences of unrewarding, dead-end
busywork: xeroxing documents written by others, fulfilling mail-in rebates
for Black & Decker toaster ovens, and processing bureaucratic forms
that nobody will ever see or care about.
Sadly, for these millions of non-abled Americans, the American dream
of working hard and moving up through the ranks is simply not a reality.”
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million important-sounding
middle man” positions will be created in the white-collar sector for non-abled
persons, providing them with an illusory sense of purpose and ability.
Mandatory, non-performance-based raises and promotions will also be offered
to create a sense of upward mobility for even the most unremarkable, utterly
replaceable employees.
The legislation also provides corporations with incentives to hire
non-abled workers, including tax breaks for those who hire one non-germane
worker for every two talented hirees. Finally, the Americans With No Abilities
Act also contains tough new measures to prevent discrimination against
the non-abled by banning prospective employers from asking such job-interview
questions as,
“What can you bring to this organization?” and “Do you have any special
skills that would make you an asset to this company?” “As a non-abled person,
I frequently find myself unable to keep up with co-workers, who have something
going for them,” said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as an unessential
filing clerk at a Minneapolis tile wholesaler last month because of her
lack of notable skills. “This new law should really help people like me.”
With the passage of the Americans With No Abilities Act, Gertz and millions
of other untalented, unessential citizens can finally see a light at the
end of the tunnel.
Said Clinton: “It is our duty, both as lawmakers and as human beings,
to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her lack
of value to society, some sort of space to take up in this great nation.”
You’ve got to love New Yorkers
A Kentucky Fried Chicken location in New York had a special on what
they were calling the “Bucket of Hillary” - two small breasts, two large
thighs and a bunch of left wings!
February's Question
Few sports are as tough as auto racing when it comes to achieving a
high winning percentage. If a race has twenty entrants, the task of winning
should mean longer odds than say a baseball team or a tennis player where
only one opponent at a time has to be defeated. There was one athlete from
the first half of the 20th century who; over a 27-year career won 88.5%
of the time. For 50 points, name the athlete and the sport. For 10 bonus
points, name the athlete’s most famous win.
Please send your trivia answers to me at 6930 N. Woodridge Drive, Parkland,
FL 33067 or, if you prefer email, via HWasser @ix.netcom.com or HWasserman@Compuserve.com.
They must be postmarked or emailed by the 14th of the month of publication.
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